Emotional Honesty: The Psychologist Who Says You Need 5 People to Hate

The happiness industry has sold us the lie that we must feel good all the time. But psychologist Víctor Amat—a former boxer and author of 'Las diez leyes para ser jodidamente irresistible'—argues the opposite: emotions like hate, anxiety, and discomfort are not only normal but necessary. In a recent interview, Amat dropped a line already going viral: 'There are five people in the world to hate. The ones you choose. The problem is when they pile up and you have fifty.' His approach, dubbed punk psychology, proposes brief therapy without dependency, aiming to restore control of daily life within a maximum of ten sessions.

The Science

Amat works with a brief therapy model where he agrees with the patient on a maximum of ten sessions. According to him, 80% of his cases are resolved in eight sessions or fewer. This contrasts with long-term therapies that can last years. The key, he says, is that 'there are no protocols, there are people': two patients with the same problem may need completely different paths. When he detects that someone is managing their daily life again, he discharges them without fostering unnecessary dependence.

Amat's sharpest criticism targets the happiness industry and positive psychology, which he says confuses well-being with the absence of discomfort. From a neuroscience perspective, negative emotions serve adaptive functions: hate can protect us from toxic relationships, and anxiety signals danger. Suppressing these emotions, as some coaching promotes, can generate more stress. Recent studies in evolutionary psychology support this view: unpleasant emotions are signals that help us navigate the social environment. For example, disgust keeps us away from harmful substances, and sadness prompts reflection and seeking support. By denying these emotions, we not only ignore their utility but also increase allostatic load—the cumulative physiological wear from chronic stress.

“'There are five people in the world to hate. The ones you choose. The problem is when they pile up and you have fifty.' — Víctor Amat”

Key Findings

• Therapeutic efficiency: 80% of cases are resolved in 8 sessions or fewer, according to Amat. This suggests brief therapy can be as effective as longer approaches for everyday problems, and data from Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) show similar results in 5–8 sessions for mild anxiety and depression.
• Session limit: Amat sets a maximum of 10 sessions per patient, avoiding dependency and fostering autonomy. This contrasts with open-ended therapies that can last years without a clear goal.
• Individualization: He rejects universal protocols; each person requires a unique path, even with the same diagnosis. This aligns with personalized medicine, which is gaining ground in mental health.
• Validation of hate: Proposes that hating up to five people is normal, but when they accumulate beyond that, it's a sign something needs to change. This practical rule helps detect toxic environments before they damage health.
• Critique of forced happiness: Positive psychology, by denying discomfort, can cause more suffering by pressuring constant happiness. A 2023 meta-analysis found that emotional suppression is associated with higher long-term depression and anxiety.

Why It Matters

This approach challenges the mainstream of positive psychology that dominates self-help books and social media. For those who feel like failures for not being happy all the time, Amat's proposal is a relief: validating hate and anxiety as part of the human experience reduces internal pressure. Mechanically, accepting these emotions lowers the chronic stress response that arises from repressing them. Emotional acceptance, supported by therapies like ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), improves emotional regulation and resilience.

The direct beneficiaries are people trapped in relationships with narcissistic or psychopathic bosses, partners, or family members. Amat suggests that 'setting boundaries' is not enough; sometimes, like a couple exhausted by a three-month-old baby, the crisis is normal and doesn't require therapy, just time. This frees many from feeling pathological about human reactions. Moreover, in a context where anxiety and depression rates remain high (according to WHO, 5% of the global population suffers from depression), brief and practical approaches can alleviate the strain on healthcare systems.

Your Protocol

1. 1Allow yourself to hate (but with a limit): Identify up to five people or situations that genuinely generate hate. Write them down. If you go past five, review your environments: maybe you need to change jobs, relationships, or social circles. Use this list as a thermometer for your relational health.
2. 2Shorten your therapy: If you're in therapy, ask your therapist about a brief approach with clear goals and a session limit (e.g., 10). Autonomy is the goal. If seeking a therapist, prioritize those trained in brief therapy or SFBT.
3. 3Distinguish normal crisis from pathology: When facing a conflict, ask if it's an expected crisis (like the first year with a baby, a recent loss, or a job change) or a recurring toxic pattern. The former just needs time and support; the latter, decisive action (ending the relationship, seeking mediation, etc.).
4. 4Practice emotional acceptance: When you feel hate, anxiety, or sadness, instead of suppressing them, sit for a minute to observe them. Ask yourself: What function is this emotion serving? What is it telling me about my environment? This practice, similar to ACT, reduces emotional reactivity.

What to Watch Next

Brief therapy is gaining traction in the English-speaking world, with models like Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) reporting effectiveness in 5–8 sessions. Expect more studies in 2026–2027 comparing its efficacy with long-term therapies for anxiety and depression. There's also growing interest in validating 'negative' emotions as a tool for emotional regulation, moving away from toxic positivity. However, caution is needed: brief therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Complex disorders like borderline personality disorder may require longer approaches. The key is proper indication.

The Bottom Line

Víctor Amat reminds us that mental health isn't about smiling constantly, but accepting the full emotional spectrum. With his brief therapy (80% of cases resolved in ≤8 sessions) and his permission to hate, he offers a practical path for those seeking to optimize well-being without empty promises. The future of psychology may lie in emotional honesty, not forced happiness. By integrating the validation of discomfort with concrete tools, this punk approach invites us to reclaim control of our emotional lives.